The Saturday after Chris died the quiz wasn’t in the Guardian and the Cricket Club was closed for the first time ever on a Saturday lunchtime. I took it very personally.

It turned out the Guardian quiz guy was on holiday for 2 weeks – we wont talk about the Cricket Club. Alex came home at lunchtime today and we did the Guardian quiz – I thought we did OK.

Stella came round and we sat in the garden and the boys went to play snooker at Aigburth People’s Hall. Both things were good.

Jim and I went to Tescos and I met two people who know me but clearly don’t know about Chris. As I venture further from my safety I will have to work out how to do this. The boys are ahead of me here.

My sister Jenny says I am very vulnerable at the moment, she also said that I can appreciate things that get lost in the day to day busyness of life. I agree with her.

It reminds me of when Jim was born – I wanted to hold on to every day and to really appreciate it – it’s different but I know I have to be make the most of this time to heal myself before I go out too far.