My life at the moment is full of firsts and like the first time you do anything each has their own uniqueness. I haven’t yet found any of them unconquerable but I suppose that is what I’m doing now, pacing myself and only tackling the things that I think I can manage. Firsts and lasts are also inextricably inter-twined as the first time you do anything is also the last time you wont have done it.

Kipper had a first and last today – it was the first time he rode in the little car and the last. I drove over and dropped it off outside Gilly’s, as a surprise. Then I walked back with the dog through Sefton Park. The storms of yesterday had left it looking good in the morning sunshine. I also saw a yellow wagtail, a bird I don’t remember ever having seen in the park before.

It was the first time Cathy had been round since Chris died and we had a very special cup of coffee together. It was also the first time I had been to water aerobics through the thoughtfulness of a neighbour. As I swam in the pool I remembered the last time, which was with Sue around the bay in Mirca. That was a lovely memory.

Even though I slept last night I am tired, Rob and I just yawned all afternoon but that is probably just our bodies catching up with ourselves.