On holiday - at home.......

...... today I am on holiday.

I have told several people this over the last few days and the have just laughed at me - as if the concept of me being on holiday is funny - quite right too - my life is a holiday!

However...... today I am not at work, have nothing planned and am still in bed.... on holiday. so I will blogg - catch up with myself - maybe think about things in a different way - a way without obligations or effort.... I shall just be a Swan and glide effortlessly through the day.

Am having a 'thing' about the Swan at the moment - not certain what it means - but when you get several unexpected and repeating references to something I think it is time to take notice...... and explore what it might mean.

I have just looked in my Tarot cards and was surprised to read that the Swan signifies: Breaking old bonds and finding new rivers in which to swim. I didn't expect that...... but I do feel very strongly that I am moving into a new phase of my life.

I have been dancing for four days - Journey into Trance - with an amazing teacher Jonathan Horan...... I plunged deeply into the dance..... not holding back..... and not holding onto anything just letting my body and my soul immerse themselves in the liberation of following the wave...... It was especially liberating as I had a second teacher - a badly sprained foot which I acquired the night before the dance - through standing up too quickly from a chair!  It was a joy - very painful to stand on.... I had to 'dance around' my foot... it was truly wonderful - I danced on the floor, I danced on a chair, I danced on the altar, I danced without moving my right foot.... I danced ecstatically, joyfully, beautifully..... it was like my body radiated energy - and I had amazing dances with others - sharing our energies and releasing, releasing...... releasing......... buffffffffffff - I had such a FANTASTIC DANCE!

Yesterday I started to come back to Earth and had a lovely day, lunching and karaoking with Pat and Nita.... being family.... feeling loved and loving.... delicious.

So today I have no plans...... isn't that just such a gift - the weather is wet - with blue skies - seeing a lot of this unusual weather at the moment... and frost on the roofs of the houses... so I shall stay in bed..... happiness is! Then maybe  shall go and buy some little tupperwares as I seem to have given mine away and I like to freeze portions of meals... can't stand to waste food.

This is  a rambling blogg - reflecting my rambling holiday feeling...... I am glad I am on holiday - and know that the sprained foot was also telling me to slow down and stay grounded for a while - I have been dashing around the world for quite a while now!  I need to reflect on the new rivers the Swan is signifying.

Well I think that's what I will do today....... meditate........

I AM JUST SO BLESSED!

letting go......

... it's funny - but probably not - but I am having a few days off work - starting today - and suddenly my body and mind seems to have melted into exhausted goo!!!

I have been thinking today about my year so far.......  and I have been constantly on the go for months now, travelling, working, meeting people, being with family and friends, being very focused.... and very happy.... but absolutely non-stop.

Well today I stopped and it was like a ton of bricks landed on me!

I still have a few work things to do tomorrow and they are worrying me a bit - as today I just couldn't  get my brain to work at all... but I had told it to go on holiday - and it was just doing what it was told!

Anyway I am home - which is unusual! I was thinking about going away for a while but apart from being  down to stay with Lizzie in Devon this weekend - recovering well and it was a joy to be there - I am glad to be home - I will dance for the weekend - a special teacher and three days so that will help with my energy level! Go and spend time with my Mum - and maybe just not do anything - funny feeling it wont work out like that - but I will try and slow down for a few days..... feel less knackered just by writing this blogg!!!!!!

Saturday morning

.. and I'm in bed - Alex is sleeping next door - Sam and Jess are around at Jimmy's - a house they knew from their childhood - I think Rob and a friend are on the train on their way from London - communication with my eldest son can be a hit and miss! But his new phoned arrived here on Thursday - so hopefully will be easier after he gets that. Phones must be cheaper here than in Croatia.

The reason for them all being here is Pat's 50th Birthday - Jan's little sister - I have known her since she was a child - in a wheelchair for the last three years after a stroke - she is a wise woman - who has had a hard life - earlier I was wondering why some people have such hard lives and others like me - have such easy lives - or lucky lives as my Mum calls them.

I know our lives are about learning - our soul's journey of learning..... but our life's journey starts from the  moment of conception - the circumstances of our birth, our parents, position in family - let alone where we are born - all those things come into play - before actually anything that we do with our lives, the choices we make...... maybe this is just the mystery of our life - why did our soul choose to be born into this set of circumstances - what was the lesson it wanted to learn?

So why did my soul choose to be born into this lucky life? What did it want to learn? Good question this and am not certain I know the answer yet - maybe it was to learn to appreciate and to be happy.... if that was the case then I think I have learnt well!!!!! I do appreciate my lucky life, my wonderful family which goes so far beyond my biological family, my amazing job and all the blessings that that gives me, my wonderful husband of 35 years - and on and on - how blessed am I...... and yes how happy I am - lessons like this are just so beautiful......

...... and now I will get up and make a HUGE breakfast for all these wonderful young people who are in my life - and treasure every second of this special day within my lucky life......

I am just so grateful to be alive........