I was reminded yesterday that I haven't blogged for a very long time and I have been reflecting on why that is. I have just looked at the dates and it has been four months since I've blogged. During this time huge events have happened in my life. I have now left Liverpool, after over 40 years of living there. I have left the University of Liverpool after over 30 years of working there. I have left the country where my mother lives and where I have lived all my life.
So big changes!!!!!
During these four months I have also been travelling: a week in Barcelona studying Spanish with my friend Maggie, that was good fun; a week in Arlequi with Jenny, Shobs and Vanessa dancing, that was beautiful, I danced " Caring from a distance" as something that I have to learn; a brief time in Liverpool witnessing grief; travelling with Vaughn and Sarah, to Singapore, Malaysia and Vietnam, a great conference and a special time with these two wonderful young people; back home to move; saying farewells, unexpectedly supported by my three beautiful sons and Rachel; the move, my belongings in the back of a huge articulated lorry; arriving at Rob's house and making this little bedroom my base; a conference in Seville and visits to Paris, Prague, Vienna and a week working in Brussels; being in Paris at the time when it was the focus of the world's attention, recognising the enemy, fear; briefly back in Croatia and then India for a fortnight, feeling connected there; briefly again in Croatia than back in the UK with family and friends; Christmas in Liverpool with my mother, poignant and good; New Year in Asturias, appreciating the Spanish family; then back to Croatia and snow!!!!
So I haven't been blogging but I have been writing to my mother every couple of days. Her memory is now so poor that she doesn't remember phone calls shortly after she puts the phone down, but she can and does re-read the letters. So without being there physically - letters are the next best thing. She can sometimes be quite sad now and she is frustrated by her lack of memory, physically she is doing very well for 95. She knows I am not in the UK any more and has told me more than once that I have done the right thing, which is a comfort to me.
So that has been my last four months.......
Looking back I can see that during this time I have been focusing on the process, the day-to-day. This was a deliberate and conscious choice and maybe that's why I haven't been blogging because I wasn't reflecting on what I was doing, I was just concentrating really hard on doing it!
It has come as a big surprise to me to be now living in Croatia! That sounds stupid but is strangely where I am. When Rob offered to provide a home for my furniture and things, I had thought of it as that, a place for me to leave my own things, and things that belong to the family, for example all the childhood photographs. But I had genuinely not thought about what it would mean living here. The original plan was to go to Colombia in January but that has now changed. Alex and family are moving to Portugal in February, as he has got a new job there. So unexpectedly I have a job to do, which is to assist them in moving. When I was planning my future, I had decided to wait and see what doors opened for me and to go with that. I had thought in terms of work but being a useful grandmother is also a very important job! I am also very happy living at Rob's and we are planning changes to the house, new kitchen etc. It has also been lovely to recognise that he is also very happy with me living here - we have talked a lot about this and it has surprised us both!!
On New Year's Eve I thought about the year to come and I only made one intention which is to continue to take my time, (last year's resolution) and this I plan to do. But I think I will also intend to write my blogg more regularly because I had forgotten how helpful it is!
So big changes!!!!!
During these four months I have also been travelling: a week in Barcelona studying Spanish with my friend Maggie, that was good fun; a week in Arlequi with Jenny, Shobs and Vanessa dancing, that was beautiful, I danced " Caring from a distance" as something that I have to learn; a brief time in Liverpool witnessing grief; travelling with Vaughn and Sarah, to Singapore, Malaysia and Vietnam, a great conference and a special time with these two wonderful young people; back home to move; saying farewells, unexpectedly supported by my three beautiful sons and Rachel; the move, my belongings in the back of a huge articulated lorry; arriving at Rob's house and making this little bedroom my base; a conference in Seville and visits to Paris, Prague, Vienna and a week working in Brussels; being in Paris at the time when it was the focus of the world's attention, recognising the enemy, fear; briefly back in Croatia and then India for a fortnight, feeling connected there; briefly again in Croatia than back in the UK with family and friends; Christmas in Liverpool with my mother, poignant and good; New Year in Asturias, appreciating the Spanish family; then back to Croatia and snow!!!!
So I haven't been blogging but I have been writing to my mother every couple of days. Her memory is now so poor that she doesn't remember phone calls shortly after she puts the phone down, but she can and does re-read the letters. So without being there physically - letters are the next best thing. She can sometimes be quite sad now and she is frustrated by her lack of memory, physically she is doing very well for 95. She knows I am not in the UK any more and has told me more than once that I have done the right thing, which is a comfort to me.
So that has been my last four months.......
Looking back I can see that during this time I have been focusing on the process, the day-to-day. This was a deliberate and conscious choice and maybe that's why I haven't been blogging because I wasn't reflecting on what I was doing, I was just concentrating really hard on doing it!
It has come as a big surprise to me to be now living in Croatia! That sounds stupid but is strangely where I am. When Rob offered to provide a home for my furniture and things, I had thought of it as that, a place for me to leave my own things, and things that belong to the family, for example all the childhood photographs. But I had genuinely not thought about what it would mean living here. The original plan was to go to Colombia in January but that has now changed. Alex and family are moving to Portugal in February, as he has got a new job there. So unexpectedly I have a job to do, which is to assist them in moving. When I was planning my future, I had decided to wait and see what doors opened for me and to go with that. I had thought in terms of work but being a useful grandmother is also a very important job! I am also very happy living at Rob's and we are planning changes to the house, new kitchen etc. It has also been lovely to recognise that he is also very happy with me living here - we have talked a lot about this and it has surprised us both!!
