Its Friday night and I’ve been to the pub with Rob for a couple of pints after a particularly exhausting week. Read my emails and am happy that Christmas, New Year and my birthday are now all boxed off!
Went to Leeds for two meetings on Tuesday and then went to dinner with Alex and Lara which was the first for the three of us but hopefully only one of many more meals together in the future.
Then the rest of the week has been a mad combination of work and Americans – quite a common combination in my world!
Haven’t got a lot of any major blogging thoughts tonight – the combination of tiredness and beer have left me fairly shattered but not unhappy.
So it’s November – December in a couple of hours but as everyone seems to be knackered at the moment - I think ‘m probably doing OK!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Saturday morning
.....and I just though I'd look at what I wrote last evening and then I thought I'd look at this time last year. So I'm sitting with tears running down my face as I have just re-visited where I was last year.
How does this make me feel - proud of myself in a sad sort of way because, and I know so many people have much worse things happen to them, but losing your partner of 35 years, a man that I loved dearly and to whom I was very close to, the father of my lovely three boys and dear friend of my dear friends - that is a pretty big thing to happen and so suddenly - looking back at the blogg I can see that I was still in shock this time last year and that Jimmy was even deeper in shock.
So I am proud of myself because as can be seen in the last few months bloggs I'm OK really, bit up and down but just getting on with life. Just looking back at the challenges I set myself a year ago:
Reading several books cover to cover,
Being able to watch/listen to the news,
Buying a newspaper and reading more than the sudoku,
Sleeping better,
Going to the supermarket and doing a proper weekly shop
Realistic and achievable for Tricia then - but I think the time has come to set myself some new challenges for my new future. I don't know what these are yet but I will think about them and blogg them when I'm ready!
Now it's time to take the dog for a walk and to pick up my parcel of wool from the sorting office - and maybe think about challenges and then have breakfast with Jim and maybe Rob. My good life!
How does this make me feel - proud of myself in a sad sort of way because, and I know so many people have much worse things happen to them, but losing your partner of 35 years, a man that I loved dearly and to whom I was very close to, the father of my lovely three boys and dear friend of my dear friends - that is a pretty big thing to happen and so suddenly - looking back at the blogg I can see that I was still in shock this time last year and that Jimmy was even deeper in shock.
So I am proud of myself because as can be seen in the last few months bloggs I'm OK really, bit up and down but just getting on with life. Just looking back at the challenges I set myself a year ago:
Reading several books cover to cover,
Being able to watch/listen to the news,
Buying a newspaper and reading more than the sudoku,
Sleeping better,
Going to the supermarket and doing a proper weekly shop
Realistic and achievable for Tricia then - but I think the time has come to set myself some new challenges for my new future. I don't know what these are yet but I will think about them and blogg them when I'm ready!
Now it's time to take the dog for a walk and to pick up my parcel of wool from the sorting office - and maybe think about challenges and then have breakfast with Jim and maybe Rob. My good life!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Friday night thoughts
It’s Friday night and on my own - and feeling a bit lonely – so turned to my blogg and noticed that I haven’t posted a blogg for nearly two weeks – and that makes me think that the last two weeks have been busy and OK – so that’s good!
I was away last night in Manchester, I enjoyed the company of friends/colleagues – some from a way back - but apart from that, not done much apart from work, quite into my knitting at the moment – had Jim, Les, Rob and Gilly for Sunday dinner last week – and have been dancing – oh yes and went out last week on Thursday and Friday – and had Aziz and Jamal on Saturday - so on reflection been quite busy. That’s what I like about my blogg – makes me reflect on what I have been up to – and on reflection have been busy – quite happy and just getting on with things.
So it’s Friday night and feeling a bit lonely – but probably because I’m a bit knackered after quite a busy couple of weeks!
Noticed it's my 200th blogg - which made me think the about the last 14 months - a long time but not really - glad I'm a year plus on - last year was very hard but I do feel that I am coming to terms with having a different future than I anticipated.
I was away last night in Manchester, I enjoyed the company of friends/colleagues – some from a way back - but apart from that, not done much apart from work, quite into my knitting at the moment – had Jim, Les, Rob and Gilly for Sunday dinner last week – and have been dancing – oh yes and went out last week on Thursday and Friday – and had Aziz and Jamal on Saturday - so on reflection been quite busy. That’s what I like about my blogg – makes me reflect on what I have been up to – and on reflection have been busy – quite happy and just getting on with things.
So it’s Friday night and feeling a bit lonely – but probably because I’m a bit knackered after quite a busy couple of weeks!
Noticed it's my 200th blogg - which made me think the about the last 14 months - a long time but not really - glad I'm a year plus on - last year was very hard but I do feel that I am coming to terms with having a different future than I anticipated.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Sunday night
Nice week-end - Alex has been home and on Saturday I visited my Mum and Dad’s. Am now slobbing on the sofa with the dog snoring in front of the coal fire.
Jim spend some of Friday evening going round in a Police CCTV van – but the weather was so foul there was no-one on the street. I think he was quite relieved as he didn’t actually want to recognise anyone. I took him to get the stitches out on Friday and the wound is well on the way to healing – he will have a scar but we are both putting it behind us.
Alex has had Jimmy working on Maths and Physics all weekend which is good. He is still finding them hard but Alex says he’s much more on top of them – I feel a bit out of it as I can’t help him – though I suppose I am supporting him in lots of other ways.
Feeling less down this weekend - but coming to terms with having a post Chris low period. Last year was such an emotional roller coaster – wasn’t really certain where I was – so it’s been quite good to recognise that I have been ‘down’ – and that’s something very normal.
Jim spend some of Friday evening going round in a Police CCTV van – but the weather was so foul there was no-one on the street. I think he was quite relieved as he didn’t actually want to recognise anyone. I took him to get the stitches out on Friday and the wound is well on the way to healing – he will have a scar but we are both putting it behind us.
Alex has had Jimmy working on Maths and Physics all weekend which is good. He is still finding them hard but Alex says he’s much more on top of them – I feel a bit out of it as I can’t help him – though I suppose I am supporting him in lots of other ways.
Feeling less down this weekend - but coming to terms with having a post Chris low period. Last year was such an emotional roller coaster – wasn’t really certain where I was – so it’s been quite good to recognise that I have been ‘down’ – and that’s something very normal.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Growing up..........
Well – it’s Saturday night – I have had an easy evening at Gilly’s drinking wine, watching TV and talking.
Reflecting on the last week – I feel it has made both Jimmy and me grow up! There is this myth that 54 year olds are ‘grown up’ the reality is that we never ‘grow up’ – I think my 87 and 90 year old parents would agree with this.
OK - with age comes experience, knowledge and some wisdom but the bottom line is we are all learning and some weeks we learn more than others!
Last week has been really hard but I am so proud of all three of my sons – all of whom have helped me and each other in a wonderful, natural way.
Ayway - I wanted to go out tonight – if only to show Jim that I wasn’t going to stay on the sofa every night knitting!
So I’m home – blogging – Jim’s out with his mates. I have just noticed that the jeans that he wore that night – the ones that I washed immediately because I wanted rid of the blood stains – not thinking about the police asking for them – have gone.
So I’m here and Jim’s out – wearing his jeans with their new un-designer cut! His way of facing what happened – and I must find my own way – which I am sure I will…..
Reflecting on the last week – I feel it has made both Jimmy and me grow up! There is this myth that 54 year olds are ‘grown up’ the reality is that we never ‘grow up’ – I think my 87 and 90 year old parents would agree with this.
OK - with age comes experience, knowledge and some wisdom but the bottom line is we are all learning and some weeks we learn more than others!
Last week has been really hard but I am so proud of all three of my sons – all of whom have helped me and each other in a wonderful, natural way.
Ayway - I wanted to go out tonight – if only to show Jim that I wasn’t going to stay on the sofa every night knitting!
So I’m home – blogging – Jim’s out with his mates. I have just noticed that the jeans that he wore that night – the ones that I washed immediately because I wanted rid of the blood stains – not thinking about the police asking for them – have gone.
So I’m here and Jim’s out – wearing his jeans with their new un-designer cut! His way of facing what happened – and I must find my own way – which I am sure I will…..
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Scary Halloween
Halloween was genuinely scary this year as I received a call from the Dad of Jim’s friend to say he had been jumped on by a gang of youths and stabbed in the leg.
He was close by and I got him to hospital quite quickly. The actual wound is not too bad – he had three stitches and will have a sore leg for a few days. He had been on his way to a party when he and his friend had been attacked by a gang of about 9 lads who had chased his mate, Jimmy had stood up to them and they ‘learned him a lesson’ by getting him against a wall and stabbing him in his leg.
So Jim and I, joined by Rob, spent a couple of hours in the Royal’s A&E Department. As this was where Chris died, and at one point Rob and I were waiting in the same corridor, it was fairly upsetting.
Jim seemed fine last night and Rob’s coming round this morning and is going to contact the police. There is no way that Jim could identify them as it was dark and they wore hoodies but Rob is emphatic that it needs to be recorded and he is right.
So I think it’s fair to say that this has not been a good week.
He was close by and I got him to hospital quite quickly. The actual wound is not too bad – he had three stitches and will have a sore leg for a few days. He had been on his way to a party when he and his friend had been attacked by a gang of about 9 lads who had chased his mate, Jimmy had stood up to them and they ‘learned him a lesson’ by getting him against a wall and stabbing him in his leg.
So Jim and I, joined by Rob, spent a couple of hours in the Royal’s A&E Department. As this was where Chris died, and at one point Rob and I were waiting in the same corridor, it was fairly upsetting.
Jim seemed fine last night and Rob’s coming round this morning and is going to contact the police. There is no way that Jim could identify them as it was dark and they wore hoodies but Rob is emphatic that it needs to be recorded and he is right.
So I think it’s fair to say that this has not been a good week.
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