Started with Rene arriving from Montana and ended up with Brenda's amazing nomination by Obama and the bits in between were a very fast moving mixture of York and Liverpool, dear friends from Croatia and Finland - with lots of late nights, early mornings and a surprising amount of work done.
Highlights included sharing a crazy Bed and Breakfast attic room with Rene in York, Rob's curry and the invitation to Montana, tapas with Jimmy and Harri followed by too much dark rum and reassurances - so it's Friday evening and I'm genuinely exhausted but also as high as a kite!!
So a bit of a Wow week - understatement! - and I came home to a house with carpets - which still takes a bit of getting used too - but is also wonderful - no dog to greet me - but strangely I'm getting used to that. Know I will take a bit of time to absorb all this - though a week like this can only reinforce my 'how lucky am I' mantra.
So I don't have to get up ridiculously early tomorrow which is definitely different but I am also on my own which is a first in well over a week but wow what an amazing week!!!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Saturday night...
.. and for a change I'm not at a dancing party! But I am just enjoying being at home - as the house moves on!
I made the decision a few days ago that I will put nothing back into these newly decorated (and carpeted) rooms that I don't want. This is actually very hard as I'm either re-cycling or throwing away very deeply personal things that can easily have 30 years or more's worth of connections. But I'm doing it ruthlessly - watching - and physically - taking these things either to the tip - or getting Rob to take to a charity shop.
This morning I also went through all my photographs since Chris died and took a selected CD to Asda to print - I also bought a large frame - and am doing a montage of 2 years plus post Chris. I haven't made it yet but have got all the photos I want together - and have just laid them out approximately on a large frame. It doesn't have much from the first year but from year 2 - it's got lots of family, old and new friends in different continents - lots of photos of me - which is very different from the other montages around this house - and lots of happiness - which is really good to see and to recognise.
I also got a large photo of Chris printed at Asda this morning - and bought a frame. After quite a bit of thinking I have put it up in the kitchen - in the corner where Chris used to sit. It's actually quite in your face - when you turn round and see him there - and I have been thinking all night is this the right time to bring a big photo of Chris into this newly transformed and different house!
But what I have decided is that this is exactly the right time to have an overt picture of Chris more visible in my house. At the moment I'm making so many changes in my life - but that lovely man was the making of me - he has gone - but I don't want to forget him - what ever else happens in my life.
I made the decision a few days ago that I will put nothing back into these newly decorated (and carpeted) rooms that I don't want. This is actually very hard as I'm either re-cycling or throwing away very deeply personal things that can easily have 30 years or more's worth of connections. But I'm doing it ruthlessly - watching - and physically - taking these things either to the tip - or getting Rob to take to a charity shop.
This morning I also went through all my photographs since Chris died and took a selected CD to Asda to print - I also bought a large frame - and am doing a montage of 2 years plus post Chris. I haven't made it yet but have got all the photos I want together - and have just laid them out approximately on a large frame. It doesn't have much from the first year but from year 2 - it's got lots of family, old and new friends in different continents - lots of photos of me - which is very different from the other montages around this house - and lots of happiness - which is really good to see and to recognise.
I also got a large photo of Chris printed at Asda this morning - and bought a frame. After quite a bit of thinking I have put it up in the kitchen - in the corner where Chris used to sit. It's actually quite in your face - when you turn round and see him there - and I have been thinking all night is this the right time to bring a big photo of Chris into this newly transformed and different house!
But what I have decided is that this is exactly the right time to have an overt picture of Chris more visible in my house. At the moment I'm making so many changes in my life - but that lovely man was the making of me - he has gone - but I don't want to forget him - what ever else happens in my life.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The house wave gently finishes with carpets...
.. and with flowers courtesy of Sefton Borough Council!
My house - the shell that I have lived in for over 30 years - has had a face lift - been a bit of a trauma but needed to happen - today the final carpets were fitted - though like all these things - Ed will have to come round next week - to plane two doors so that they will close! - but apart from that - and the horrible mess that's in the other rooms and needs sorting out prior to going back in - it's practically finished!!!!!!!! I am just so happy about this - and it's lovely and green and pink - and different from how it was - a bit like me!
My house - the shell that I have lived in for over 30 years - has had a face lift - been a bit of a trauma but needed to happen - today the final carpets were fitted - though like all these things - Ed will have to come round next week - to plane two doors so that they will close! - but apart from that - and the horrible mess that's in the other rooms and needs sorting out prior to going back in - it's practically finished!!!!!!!! I am just so happy about this - and it's lovely and green and pink - and different from how it was - a bit like me!
Saturday, June 06, 2009
waves of turmoil..............
Not certain why but feeling quite anxious at the moment – not really worried anxious more like an excited anxiousness! Blogging quite a lot – I suppose because I need to think it through and although I’m talking to lots of people I’ve not really got one person to talk to – so thank you blogg – you are my person to talk to!
I suppose it’s this overwhelming feeling of change going on my life. Although on the surface very little has changed – still doing my old job, though that’s changing, still living in my old house, though that is definitely changing and still have my old friends though I now have quite a lot of new ones as well, which is lovely, don’t have a dog any more and that is a change.
I suppose the real change is me. Looking inside of me - I think I have changed or am in the process of changing. I suppose the anxiety is linked to what’s going to come out of all this change! Though writing this is good because as I write I realise that I want this change and am happy and excited about the changes going on.
Not certain why I wrote waves of turmoil as my heading for this entry – but I think in some ways it does sum up quite well what I’m feeling at the moment - which being part of a big wave, strong feeling of being swept along, not feeling in control of where I’m going, enjoying the ride but also feeling a bit anxious about the whole wave crashing and being swept into the maelstrom. But I suppose all waves crash, some more spectacularly than others, but all finally end up at their farthest gentle point before being drawn back into the whole again.
So it’s Saturday morning and the decorating of the house has finally finished, the carpets arrive on Wednesday and a wonderful Limpiadora has come into my life and is cleaning up the debris left behind. The houses’s wave of change has crashed and I can see the beauty of the wave gently hitting the shore before being pulled back into the ocean!
Estoy disfrutando la ola de mi vida como un flujo de cambio, caos y belleza!
I suppose it’s this overwhelming feeling of change going on my life. Although on the surface very little has changed – still doing my old job, though that’s changing, still living in my old house, though that is definitely changing and still have my old friends though I now have quite a lot of new ones as well, which is lovely, don’t have a dog any more and that is a change.
I suppose the real change is me. Looking inside of me - I think I have changed or am in the process of changing. I suppose the anxiety is linked to what’s going to come out of all this change! Though writing this is good because as I write I realise that I want this change and am happy and excited about the changes going on.
Not certain why I wrote waves of turmoil as my heading for this entry – but I think in some ways it does sum up quite well what I’m feeling at the moment - which being part of a big wave, strong feeling of being swept along, not feeling in control of where I’m going, enjoying the ride but also feeling a bit anxious about the whole wave crashing and being swept into the maelstrom. But I suppose all waves crash, some more spectacularly than others, but all finally end up at their farthest gentle point before being drawn back into the whole again.
So it’s Saturday morning and the decorating of the house has finally finished, the carpets arrive on Wednesday and a wonderful Limpiadora has come into my life and is cleaning up the debris left behind. The houses’s wave of change has crashed and I can see the beauty of the wave gently hitting the shore before being pulled back into the ocean!
Estoy disfrutando la ola de mi vida como un flujo de cambio, caos y belleza!
Monday, June 01, 2009
All change............
Have been thinking of changing my blog photograph for a little while - and when I was sent this one today I knew that this was the photo I wanted to show the new me. the email referred to Trish's renaissance which I also really liked as well - as I do feel like a new woman - Renaissance Tricia - aka Dancing Tricia.
I danced for the best part of 10 hours on Saturday night and into Sunday morning at an amazing beach party and was wild and happy. Danced with lovely memories of my beautiful old dog - who had run on that beach many times. Didn't feel guilty about being happy - watched the night turn into day, danced with the stars and the sea and anyone else who was dancing and felt wonderful - even managed after an hours sleep to have a Spanish lesson with Hector!
Work today was very good - know I'm a bit over the top at the moment - but am surrounded by wonderful people - who seem to be coping with me - as it's Monday - I also went dancing - my feet just can't stop at the moment!!!!
Haven't lost sight of Chris and part of my joy is the certainty that he would be happy that I am happy again - he will never know Renaissance Tricia - and he could never know her as she's his legacy. But my joy also recognises that he always had a wicked sense of humour!!
I danced for the best part of 10 hours on Saturday night and into Sunday morning at an amazing beach party and was wild and happy. Danced with lovely memories of my beautiful old dog - who had run on that beach many times. Didn't feel guilty about being happy - watched the night turn into day, danced with the stars and the sea and anyone else who was dancing and felt wonderful - even managed after an hours sleep to have a Spanish lesson with Hector!
Work today was very good - know I'm a bit over the top at the moment - but am surrounded by wonderful people - who seem to be coping with me - as it's Monday - I also went dancing - my feet just can't stop at the moment!!!!
Haven't lost sight of Chris and part of my joy is the certainty that he would be happy that I am happy again - he will never know Renaissance Tricia - and he could never know her as she's his legacy. But my joy also recognises that he always had a wicked sense of humour!!
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