Looked at the blogg for Friday night and feel much more cheerful – now – Sunday afternoon.
Had a good run in the park this morning the weather was beautiful – the dog was in danger of being left behind! Last night went out with the 'girls' to a new restaurant – the Sakara – the food was great - tapas type – my favourite. The owner turned out to be the daughter of an old friend of Gilly’s whom I also knew. She asked me the question “How’s your lovely fella?” and I have to give her the painful answer. I am getting better at this - even told the sales assistant in M&S, as I said I was buying some clothes to go back to work, and she asked if I’d been off long and why – pretty dumb questions really! I have now practiced some phrases – like ‘My late husband’ and ‘My husband died a few months ago.' Though it’s actually eight weeks tomorrow.
I have been thinking through going back to work on Wednesday and I have decided to make reasons to visit different parts of the University. As I have worked there for exactly 22 years I am quite well known. I am aware that some people find me quite difficult to react to - and worry about not knowing what to say – what I want people to do is to smile at me and say ‘Good to see you back at work’. Because that’s what I am going to do on Wednesday - go back to work. To a job that I love. I had a very good work idea yesterday and look forward to discussing it with Mary!
So next week I will find reasons to visit various corners of the University and I am hoping once people know I’m back and have smiled at me at least once I can become the working me again. Jimmy and I will sort out our new routine at home and a new phase of our lives will have started.
Now that’s really positive!
