On my own tonight - after a few days in Amsterdam with Becki - she was a joy - so full of pleasure at being away and seeing things - and so full of enjoyment at the novelty. A real first for both of us.
This is my favorite photo.
Off tomorrow to the Isle of Skye with Aziz, Jamal, Jim and Alex. That will be very different.
Had a bit of a wobble in Tescos tonight with Jim - had this over-whelming feeling that this isn't what I do for my holidays - Chris and I did versions but so different - and tonight I recognised - probably for the first time that - part of my life - holidays with Chris is over for ever - and that was a bit hard - it was the shopping for a week in Skye brought it home to me. I did get a bit weepy but feel much more reconciled tonight - Chris didn't live his life wishing for things to be different - and neither must I.
I am looking forward - but I still sometimes I do feel drawn back into wanting things to be the same.
How lucky and I to have such wonderful holidays with Chris - and we did good holidays - but I must now look forward - to relish and cherish the holidays that I now have - and to recognise how lucky I am. Well that's my lecture over to myself!
