Lots of good first this weekend – though they all carried the bit weepy liability of being firsts!
Friday evening – I ended up going to Tesco’s because the electrician was here – then later after Jim went out I was on my own but happy to be so – being on my own has been a difficult thing for me – I was a young woman of 18 when I met Chris and our lives with three children at 6 year intervals has meant that I have not been much at home on my own – as I increasingly find this to be the case - I suppose I am not only getting used to it – but also starting to enjoy it – Friday night was a bit of a first for that – which was good.
Saturday started early with the electrician again and ended up at Grant and Erica’s for a barbeque – the weather has been un-seasonably good – and I really enjoyed their beautiful garden, good food and easy conversation – walking to and back over the park on my own was a first - a good one. Life with Chris was different – he couldn’t walk and so my new life style involves a different kind of mobility – I am currently recognising and then trying my best to enjoy the increased ‘freedom’/’difference’ that is my new life.
After the pleasure on Saturday’s barbeque I asked everyone back to mine for a Sunday one – Alex was home seeing his mate Scott who is in the army in Afghanistan for Saturday night – and Jim went to see Bob Dylan in Sheffield – but all three boys were around Sunday afternoon.
So I have now had my first barbeque – literally new as I had put our old and well used/well loved barbeque in the skip - and Rob and I had bought a crazy Spanish Chimney one in what could still be called bereavement shopping in January!
All heavy thoughts aside – I did enjoy it – the new Barbie is funny but cooked well – the company was good – my boys were loud and funny – and I can now have a barbeque knowing that I have done a post Chris one before!
Also I have now had two baths in my new massive and strangely shaped bath – no shower yet – or door but I enjoyed both of them greatly. I have also started reading again – going back through my old favourites – knowing that Jane Austen is pure displacement but enjoying the safety of her novels – three this week!
So back to work tomorrow – not for Jim as school has effectively finished for him this year – though he is still in a place of indecision – and I still don’t whether to push or to condone – but I suppose we will work it out – he knows he is loved – he knows at some point he will have to face the real world - but why should I force him to do what he is reluctant to do – work in progress – and maybe the bathroom will be finished this week – though like all improvements – a prelude for more work now needed!
