It’s Monday evening and I have been dancing – I do so love it – I still cry when dancing but that’s OK – it’s that kind of dancing!
Rob and I had a big row this afternoon – deep stuff – we both hurt. We’re the other side of it now and have agreed to talk but not now - sometime soon. Rob is such a wonderful young man and has been so amazingly here for me the last few months - he is the last one I want to argue with but probably he will always be the first – anyway in some ways I am glad - as we now have to talk about things soon – I hope so.
Doug and Sue came up last weekend and that was lovely – it was also a bit hard as they are a couple from way way back and now it’s two to one – but we had a lovely time – drank too much and walked the Gormley Statues and laughed and enjoyed ourselves. Gilly, Fiona, Rob and Jim’s mate Joe came to a barbeque on Saturday afternoon/evening and the Chimnea had a real baptism of fire (literally) as we sat in the dusk and darkness!
Still struggling at work – finding it hard to focus – I am too easily distracted – one email sends me off in another direction – I am so lucky with my team and boss as they all seem to understand and give me a bit of leeway at the moment.
But by and large OK – good bits and hard bits - and a recognition that’s OK – though struggling a bit with that. I am still amazed at how hard I am finding all this – I am a woman with a lot of capacity – child of wonderful (still very alive) parents, I had the love of a wonderful man for 35 years, three beautiful sons and a great job – what right have I to find life hard?
Hard but not unhappy – doing my best and what more can anyone say – and I know I’m so lucky! Tomorrow is May and that's amazing - doesn't time go by so quickly.
