Woke early - though really wanted to have a lie in - but have lots of thoughts running around my head - primarily about my party. Usual stuff - what if no-one comes - that and what if I feel really tired and want to go to bed - am so full of cold - started a few days ago but am determined not to let it get on top of me.
Think some 5 Rhythm dancers will come and some friends and neighbours - and the Hayhursts - worth having a party for that alone! Franja and Jan seem to be enjoying themselves - yesterday we did the Gormley statues - Jan was not impressed by 100 naked men on a freezing cold wind swept beach - but the home made pizzas with Rob and Jimmy went down well! He has not travelled to the UK before so it's all a bit of a culture shock - Franja and I just talk all the time which is wonderful.
So tonight I will have a party and tomorrow will be a New Year - my third without Chris - a long time but a blink of a time - but that is life - and I must cherish every second of my life - it's so short. Feel very peaceful about the New Year in the sense that I don't feel anxious about the challenges of 2009. I can see some, my parents, my job, some individuals, behind these I can see some context of the world and our problems - many and painful, but feel strong in myself - which is good. Think I will do another EI weekend - hopefully in March - as the last one has changed me, perhaps not changed me - but given me a focus and clarity to my life.
But now I must walk my old dog - this might be his last New Year, wake up my lovely youngest son to continue his revision - he is getting very tired of school - few more months and then hopefully university. Then shopping for the party with Franja and Jan - I think Jan is definitely more excited about going to the big Tescos than the party!
Sending love to my two other beautiful sons, Rob at work, Alex in Spain with Lara's lovely family, and all my family and friends and especially to you my blogg readers- here's to being strong in 2009. xxxx
