Easter is always a funny holiday with a bank holiday on the Friday – but this year it seems very weird – as it's just so early. I had intended to take the boys away for a few days – but just never got round to organising it – and then Easter arrived!
Glad of a few days off though. Things at work still a real mess, in terms of the move, with the furniture order and delivery being completely shambolic. The actual work is good and busy, though the building being such a mess is starting to get at me - and the rest of the team I think – they have had to deliver big sets of activities – like summer schools – working out of it. They are a great team though – I had a visitor the other day and we were talking about who was in the team, and how they’d got there etc – and it made me really recognise the fact, that they are a pretty unique set of people. I suppose that’s one of the major reasons that I love my job – because of them. Another how lucky moment!
Got my interview on Thursday and I am feeling quite nervous – not about the interview itself - but about what happens if I do get it - as it will be my first big change since Chris died. It wouldn’t involve leaving my current job as it would be part-time but it would be a new big thing for me.
I am trying to be very rational about whether I get it or not. I know that there are two of us being interviewed and that I’m not the no 1 candidate – and I know to get the post I will have to convince them that the organisation needs to change – so if I do get it then they want change – i.e. me and I’ll be pleased and excited – and if I don’t get it - it means they don’t want change and therefore it wont be me and I will pleased not have got the job!
So I shall now try not to think about it until Wednesday!
Alex’s is home so Jim will have another few days of Physics and I’m knitting Lara a hat – am making loads of hats at the moment – Gilly round for tea tonight and then a load tomorrow for Sophie’s 21st dinner and then walking on Monday with the boys and the Heyhursts – hope the weather’s a bit better for Monday – and I want to get back in time to dance. I have just booked a weeks dancing in Spain in June – and am really excited about the prospect. Dancing is a really big thing in my life at the moment – it’s my focus and also the time when I stop thinking – it’s that kind of dancing!
I’m increasingly feeling happy which is a good feeling. I was talking about it to Stella last night over a curry – how my brain/heart had a lot of connections to Chris which were suddenly and overnight cut. I haven’t lost any of these connections to things in the past - as those only now exist in the past but I did lose all the current connections. Over time I’ve made new connections to different things and people – and as my brain/heart builds up connections – it is increasingly making me feel happy. Makes sense to me!
