With the wonder of wireless we have been online courtesy of an unknown neighbour of my parents – the technology of which is a bit difficult to explain - and a complete mystery to my Mum and Dad!
It’s now Boxing Day and the boys are watching Match of the Day and my parents and I have retired to bed. Christmas has been good – we had fun at my sister Ann’s yesterday and a good day today at my parents. My Mum has just come into my room and given me a cuddle and asked if I was alright and I said yes and how much easier it was this year. She was very pleased – for me – I think – but thinking about it – from her point of view last year must also have been so difficult.
She is pretty amazing - coping with being 87 and coming to terms with her own mortality as well as the discomfort of old age. She is also living her life as the wife of a wonderful man that that she has been married to for over 61 years and whom she loves dearly but a man that is now 90 and deaf and though extraordinarily on the ball - very deaf.
My Dad got a bit emotional at tea tonight as he recalled my Mum when she was Bryony’s age and argued with his boss in the Officers Mess in Nuremberg in Germany in 1945. They have lived long and full lives.
Parents are funny cos you love them so dearly yet your relationship with them is so based on your childhood – I am at who I am because of my parents – and yet I am who I am for other reasons – in my case because of Chris and being the mother of my boys and doing what I do etc etc But I am only these things because I am my parents child.
Bit of a circular statement that – but I think I am moving towards recognising the deep and irreplaceable love that I have for my parents and that they have for me – but at the same time trying to recognise their vulnerability as people – their age – their foibles – I type this and feel so amazingly lucky that they are still alive – still a force in their own unique right – still so present in my life. Last year I couldn’t recognise this cos I was too wrapped up in myself but this year I can and do.
Don’t know if I can do more to show them I love them – make them proud – I’ll try.
Anyway – tomorrow I go home and I can honestly say that I have really enjoyed the last couple of days – I didn’t really expect to - and I can’t say I was looking forward to it - but it has been family at its best.
