.... after nearly ten years I can still miss Chris with a huge ache in the centre of my heart - with a deep tear filled yearning....
But my life is so different now that maybe I am just missing my old life - looking back I had a lovely life - not certain I appreciated it at the time, though I was happy but maybe not consciously happy.....
I have though about Chris so much over the last few days....... maybe because Gilly is staying here in Croatia and she was so very close to me in the early months and years after Chris's death.
I also thought about him when I was in Portugal as I can see a strong resemblance to him in the features of my little grand-daughter Alba.... I also found that very emotional.
Not certain why I am having these Chris moments at this time..... maybe it's because it is going to be 10 years this year and that seems a long time and a sort of milestone.
But maybe it is because I was just so lucky to have an amazing man in my life for 35 years and he was my best friend, my lover, the father of my children and my partner through thick and thin........
..... and yes I still miss Chris and I can still feel his absence in my life.
But I would want him to be proud of the new me, she has been on her own now for ten years and that is a long time..... and she has done brilliantly!!!! Even if today she is just a bit sad - that's OK too!
Thank you Blogg I feel better for this xxxxxx
And I love the fact that Chris sat in this square in 2001 and that Gilly sat in it yesterday.....
But my life is so different now that maybe I am just missing my old life - looking back I had a lovely life - not certain I appreciated it at the time, though I was happy but maybe not consciously happy.....
I have though about Chris so much over the last few days....... maybe because Gilly is staying here in Croatia and she was so very close to me in the early months and years after Chris's death.
I also thought about him when I was in Portugal as I can see a strong resemblance to him in the features of my little grand-daughter Alba.... I also found that very emotional.
Not certain why I am having these Chris moments at this time..... maybe it's because it is going to be 10 years this year and that seems a long time and a sort of milestone.
But maybe it is because I was just so lucky to have an amazing man in my life for 35 years and he was my best friend, my lover, the father of my children and my partner through thick and thin........
..... and yes I still miss Chris and I can still feel his absence in my life.
But I would want him to be proud of the new me, she has been on her own now for ten years and that is a long time..... and she has done brilliantly!!!! Even if today she is just a bit sad - that's OK too!
Thank you Blogg I feel better for this xxxxxx
And I love the fact that Chris sat in this square in 2001 and that Gilly sat in it yesterday.....
