Finding things really hard this week … walking through treacle and just feeling down.. the worse bit is that is Jim is down too and I don’t know how to help – he says he’s ‘fine’ but I know and can see he’s not – worrying because I feel low that I am making too much of it – or even causing his being down. Can’t say we are talking much about it – had a bit of a to do tonight and ended friends but fairly un-communicative friends – he got quite angry when I said I was down too… and that it was OK to feel low sometimes – and then I felt worse for telling him – but you do your best – and that’s all I can do.
The computer has also had a serious breakdown – possibly caused or causing our depression! Jim’s worried he’s lost all his music and I’m worried I’ve lost all my photographs.
So it’s Tuesday evening and we both feel shitty – he’s finding it hard to get to sleep and I’m finding it hard to stay asleep – so are both watching the night – overlapping.
So.. doing my best to be positive… but finding it hard – but this seems a different kind of low to the bereavement feelings – it seems like a ‘normal’ lowness but just a bad dose! So I shall look at this as just another stage to go through – and I have been feeling quite good recently so I suppose I can’t expect a linear path – am worried about Jim though but I’m his Mum and I should worry about him.
