Don't know why but I am feeling very emotional. I really didn't want to leave Paris and my beautiful little granddaughter, it was so special to spend time with her, unexpectedly out of hospital. It was just very, very, very - can't think of the right word, beautiful, special, magic....... to be part of a family with a newborn baby is just such a very special place to be. I have only been that close when it was my sons, my own babies, so to be there at this time was a real privilege.
So yesterday we got home and went round to dinner at my sisters, where my mum was staying - that was nice - it felt more Christmassy - sitting round a table eating and drinking, laughing and talking - being family........
As we walked over the park I also felt Rob's grief for his father, he still misses him so much...... in someways more than I do.... so that was poignant - and then being close to family and witnessing their sadnesses and emotions - is strangely affecting - we are strange things us human beings!
Today was another family day, lunch/afternoon with Pat and Nita..... with Rob and Vaughn this time. Six weeks to the day when Pat, Nita, Rob and I sat and waited for news of Alba's birth and prepared for Neil's funeral...... it feels like an awful lot has happened in these six weeks..... and I suppose it has.
So now in the quiet time between Christmas and New Year - and a special New year with Jimmy and Rachel's wedding....... maybe I am feeling emotional because I have time to be so! That's a good thought and I shall enjoy being a bit weepy and feeling 'full' - and recognise that it's not only OK to feel like this - it is GOOD to feel these emotions - to be human and to feel sadness and joy - and they do seem to be so intrinsically linked - so to feel is to be human - and ALIVE..... how good is that!
As we walked over the park I also felt Rob's grief for his father, he still misses him so much...... in someways more than I do.... so that was poignant - and then being close to family and witnessing their sadnesses and emotions - is strangely affecting - we are strange things us human beings!
Today was another family day, lunch/afternoon with Pat and Nita..... with Rob and Vaughn this time. Six weeks to the day when Pat, Nita, Rob and I sat and waited for news of Alba's birth and prepared for Neil's funeral...... it feels like an awful lot has happened in these six weeks..... and I suppose it has.
So now in the quiet time between Christmas and New Year - and a special New year with Jimmy and Rachel's wedding....... maybe I am feeling emotional because I have time to be so! That's a good thought and I shall enjoy being a bit weepy and feeling 'full' - and recognise that it's not only OK to feel like this - it is GOOD to feel these emotions - to be human and to feel sadness and joy - and they do seem to be so intrinsically linked - so to feel is to be human - and ALIVE..... how good is that!
