The combination of Canada and the Women's Lodge at Spirithorse has left me in a beautiful place - that sounds really naf - but I am just so happy at the moment - and enjoying every precious second of this.
It's funny how difficult it can be just to accept happiness - it's like there is an alternative motive to happiness - that makes it so difficult to dive into and to just enjoy.
Guilt has a lot to answer for! It's such a destructive and poisonous emotion. We have one life - and we have a duty to enjoy it! But maybe we need the other days - the days of sadness in order to be able to be happy.
I do remember being happy when Chris was alive - I can recall the feeling of wanting to savour and cherish every second - when Jimmy was a new born baby - but apart from that time in my life - I was happy but not as conscious of being happy - if that makes sense.
I do so love this blogg - because it really helps me think - I have just realised that I am consciously happy at the moment - I have been happy, quite happy and sort of happy for much of my lucky life - but where I am now is consciously happy.
But maybe you have to have been sad in order to be consciously happy!
The end result is that I am glowing with happiness - I don't feel guilty about this and I am treasuring and loving every second of my life..... so how good is that!!!
