One of Varazdin's angels.
Have been increasingly aware that I had not done my blogg for ages - haven't had the technology and/or wakefulness to do it - and I've missed it. I have actually read my blogg when away - on the fancy phone but not quite been able to use the technology to write a blogg - though I nearly managed it somewhere! I did find it re-assuring to read myself - and amaze at the technology!
Back at home after Vienna and Cardiff – both of which were very good for me and through which I learnt a lot. Am struggling at the moment to keep positive – being away is in some ways easy as I can put things to the back of my mind but being back home – I am very aware of all the things that are so much part of my new post Chris life. Today was not good – unexpected things happen – things caused by my not thinking things through. I have also had a couple of nights of weird Chris dreams. They are weird – as I am there – (dreamworld) having a conversation (vivid setting) with Chris – the discussion is happy and relaxed but this is matched by a strong feeling that he cannot/should not be seen by others. I’m having these quite regularly at the moment.
I’m sure this is a very normal dream to have but they upset me and add an under-current of uncertainty to my life. I wondered whether to ask the boys if they dream of their Dad – I don’t think I’ll ask Jimmy but I might ask the other two.
We are all moving offices at the moment which is exciting but also means that I’m sorting through my professional life too – which I think also is unsettling me. But time to be positive – how lucky am I to have my lovely boys, the opportunity to travel, to be moving with my lovely team into an amazing building – so time to stop myself being morose and to be positive.
