... and it was a lovely, sensuous, normal sort of cosy togetherness - and when I was telling someone about the dream today - I had this huge realisation that I dream about Chris a lot........ lovely, normal, conversational, physical dreams - though often I would be saying - "You're not supposed to be here - in this reality!" In these dreams we are together - just being together - doing the things that we did together for so many years - decades in fact - and it came as quite a shock to me today to realise that I was so regularly dreaming of Chris....... and it was weird - talking about this one dream - and then to suddenly have this flash of recognition and remembering all these other dreams.
As I type I can recall some details of these other dreams - though like all dreams - they are mercurial - where the impossible is normality - and if you think about something it just sorts of happen..... in that dream like way. But in my dreams of Chris - the ones I can remember - were are doing things together in a happy mixture of day to dayness - but I also recalled that I sometimes had this sort of reluctant feeling that people wouldn't understand our normality of being together if they knew that he was dead - but also that Chris was just not bothered about that!
Well that was an unexpected blogg to write!!
OK - so it's Wednesday - I came back from Estonia on Sunday and leave for Belgium tomorrow. Alex unexpectedly stayed at mine last week, after a job interview - Steph stayed last Wednesday and Sunday around Estonia - and my cousin's daughter Ruth stayed here last night - and I was out on Monday - that sounds like an excuse for not blogging - and in someways it is - as I have missed it/you..... but it it was lovely to have all these guests - and Estonia was a really good trip - hard focused work in wonderful company and country.
I will be away a week - doing my course over the weekend and then going to Vienna to take one specific aspect of SiS Catalyst to the next stage..... It feels like there is a lot of pressures around my work at the moment - good pressures but changes occurring so quickly - as things develop..... the pace of change does feel very, very fast indeed.
But I am knitting - love it - it takes me to this very slow place, stitch by stitch, row by row... and that's what I'll do now - sit in my peaceful flat and knit for a couple of hours - and with bamboo needles I can take it on the plane tomorrow too!
