Rob came round for tea tonight - and we talked about his future plans - which was great - and after he left I thought about how the changes I have been going through must have had an impact on my boys - and how brilliant they have been!!
If Chris hadn't of died - I would probably have been very similar to what I was 4 years ago - sensible married woman, wife and mother - not the very different woman that is their mother today.
This thinner, blonder, wilder woman, lives the life of a single woman, a dancer with different friends, more spiritually aware and much more open to everything - including seizing every wonderful new opportunity that passes her way - etc - wow way to live and loving it!!!
But from my sons point of view this really cannot have been easy for them - mothers are just not supposed to have so much fun!!! But they have just been so wonderful coping with me - really supporting me - for example when I decided to move out of the house - they never once said 'Are you sure about this Mum?' They just said 'If it's what you want - we'll help you do it.' And they have - every step of the way.
Just had an email from Jim - he's in Ljubljana - one of my favourite cities with some mates - going onto Varazdin - which will be great - amazing how that city is part of my life - Alex is in Cambridge - moved in with Lara - his plan to move back to Liverpool being thwarted by the fact that there was no house to move back too! And Rob leaving his job in 11 days time and then a whole new life to lead - my three boys are also going through big changes.
But I think we all are - our world is changing so fast - and we must all embrace changes or be suffocated by them - I increasingly think that most important thing we can teach our children is how to embrace and love change - they will be the survivors.....
