.. is so painful - and looking at yesterday's blogg - is good because the duality of pain/bliss is a hard line to walk.
Upset myself and my sons last night - they don't like me being emotional and upset - but I talked at length to Rob which was great and then my Mum phoned and we talked and that was important - and then I talked to a dear friend for a long time - so out of the upset came really good things......it was still painful though.
Witnessing Eileen's grief brought my pain to the surface. It's almost impossible to live with that pain... and that's where she is at - one day at a time - one minute at a time......
So we find a way to live with the pain... but it still there - a massive tsunami of grief that we all keep locked in our hearts.
But the duality of pain is bliss....... the joy of being alive....the joy of every breath we take......
Buff!!! I feel very raw and lonely today - struggling to see the bliss - but I will find it - in the song of a bird, in the beautiful colours and shapes of clouds and in the smile of a child - because that's where to look!!!
