Last week felt very "full on". It's not just about being busy, it's also about the future. I have been very conscious that this time next year I will be in the final stages of planning to leave Liverpool. I get a lump in my throat when I think about this. I have lived here, with the exception of three years in Edinburgh, all my life since I was 18.
It's been eight years since Chris died and I have been on my own. My three sons are now grown men and live in three different countries and it does feel very right that I leave Liverpool. Although as I write this I am aware of what a big step it will be.
There's also other things involved, particularly my mother. She is still very fit and healthy for a 94 year-old and I see her very regularly, but from next year there will be long periods when I won't see her. Talking over the phone is okay but it's not the same as being with somebody.
I danced on Monday with a very strong sense of sadness and I think that was around the two things, leaving Liverpool and my mother's eventual death. I think it's all right to have feelings of sadness, it's a kind of preparation things which will come.
I also had a very exciting week, lots of work but also lots of dreaming/imagining the future and what it could look like, also some of the things that I will do!
I do feel that I'm doing this on my own and then I realise that I'm doing it with wonderful people all around me, but then of course I realise that I'm actually doing it on my own! But that's what it's all about - living our own individual lives, and at the same time connecting to others.
I love the way that the Universe aligns things. Things happening in unexpected sequences, which on reflection were perfectly ordered. This last week has full of that kind of serendipity/coincidence - the Universe opening doors for me - thing I have to do now is just to go through them!!!
Off to see my Mum and Jenny, then off to meet completely new group of people and see what comes out of that………
And it is such a beautiful day………
Thank you Universe……
