..........feel like I'm living in a whirlwind - but also strangely happy to be doing so!
It's become very autumnal and after last week's unusual sunshine - wild winds whirl leaves around in the air - way above ground level - swirling, whirling leaves... all separate yet all just tiny parts of the huge whirling movement of leaves.
Last Sunday - I danced with leaves - 'Dancing Deep' in Manchester - Alex the teacher enabled us to dance with leaves - in our own unique way - and it was wonderful..... one of the clear 'thoughts' that I have kept all week is about the individual leaf - in the swirling whirling dance of all the leaves...
Through the dance I 'looked at/saw' some of the leaves really clearly - spending time - focusing my attention on those few leaves - as they were there within my consciousness/field of vision/hand.... and I was so very aware that these few individual leaves were just so very, very beautiful - each one having so many colours - hues from green to deep red, and being patterned and veined with perfection, each leaf beautiful, special, unique.............. and each of these individual leaves could also be seen as just part of a pile of leaves - something brown in heap on the floor - it was only when you looked at each one, with focus and real attention - that you saw how beautiful each one uniquely was.....
I think that's what I feel like at the moment - part of the swirling, whirling mass of stuff - humanity - but if you look at me closely - like everyone of us - I am a beautiful individual - with my own colours, shades and hues, my own patterning and veining.... very special and very unique - like everyone else - truly amazingly beautiful - but together we can just look like a pile of nothing special.
The chaos and change we are living can also be seen as the whirling and swirling going on around us - I have had the wonderful opportunity over the last few days to stop and to look around me - and to see the beauty of those awesome treasures that are close by!!!
So what does that all mean - I am at home - 3 sons in the same country - though here and there - really enjoying their presence in my life... being together, talking, eating, sharing stuff - just wonderful to have them close by - I am so in love with my sons - they all three so different and just so wonderful!!!!
Tomorrow - over to my parents house - probably for the last time I will ever stay there - bufff!!!! - the house of my childhood - then the funeral on Monday - wanting to get it right - know what I want to say - hope I can do it well - details - details - all the important things! My Mum close to my heart, the grief of my sisters..... but also taking time to acknowledge my own vulnerability and humanity.....
So many leaves swirling around me - but joyful, happy and doing my best to consciously recognise their - and my own - individual uniqueness and beauty.......................
It's become very autumnal and after last week's unusual sunshine - wild winds whirl leaves around in the air - way above ground level - swirling, whirling leaves... all separate yet all just tiny parts of the huge whirling movement of leaves.
Last Sunday - I danced with leaves - 'Dancing Deep' in Manchester - Alex the teacher enabled us to dance with leaves - in our own unique way - and it was wonderful..... one of the clear 'thoughts' that I have kept all week is about the individual leaf - in the swirling whirling dance of all the leaves...
Through the dance I 'looked at/saw' some of the leaves really clearly - spending time - focusing my attention on those few leaves - as they were there within my consciousness/field of vision/hand.... and I was so very aware that these few individual leaves were just so very, very beautiful - each one having so many colours - hues from green to deep red, and being patterned and veined with perfection, each leaf beautiful, special, unique.............. and each of these individual leaves could also be seen as just part of a pile of leaves - something brown in heap on the floor - it was only when you looked at each one, with focus and real attention - that you saw how beautiful each one uniquely was.....
I think that's what I feel like at the moment - part of the swirling, whirling mass of stuff - humanity - but if you look at me closely - like everyone of us - I am a beautiful individual - with my own colours, shades and hues, my own patterning and veining.... very special and very unique - like everyone else - truly amazingly beautiful - but together we can just look like a pile of nothing special.
The chaos and change we are living can also be seen as the whirling and swirling going on around us - I have had the wonderful opportunity over the last few days to stop and to look around me - and to see the beauty of those awesome treasures that are close by!!!
So what does that all mean - I am at home - 3 sons in the same country - though here and there - really enjoying their presence in my life... being together, talking, eating, sharing stuff - just wonderful to have them close by - I am so in love with my sons - they all three so different and just so wonderful!!!!
Tomorrow - over to my parents house - probably for the last time I will ever stay there - bufff!!!! - the house of my childhood - then the funeral on Monday - wanting to get it right - know what I want to say - hope I can do it well - details - details - all the important things! My Mum close to my heart, the grief of my sisters..... but also taking time to acknowledge my own vulnerability and humanity.....
So many leaves swirling around me - but joyful, happy and doing my best to consciously recognise their - and my own - individual uniqueness and beauty.......................
