.........yesterday was my father's funeral - and it WAS FANTASTIC! It was a truly perfect day... and I wasn't the only one - saying/thinking this.... lots of people.... kept saying... what a perfect funeral, what an amazing life.... what an amazing man.... how lucky was he... how lucky were we to know him, be part of this family, to have your childhood.............. all perfect and wonderful things to say at a funeral....
And it was perfect..... and we did it so well as a family - my 91 year old mother coming from hospital, using a wheelchair and a zimmer frame but coping so well... dignified, strong and really, really focusing on every word in the two services ... and she was just so beautiful.... trying so hard to do it right - and doing it so, so well.... Mum I was just so proud of you - and everyone felt the same - truly inspirational.......
All my sisters speaking at the Chapel - not finding it easy - but standing up and saying just the right things - things which needed to be said.... and Evey and Becki - I was honoured to stand up with them - and so proud - of all us - my Mum, sisters, grandchildren, cousins, family friends - we just did it so well!!
OK - may be it's a bit weird to be quite so euphoric over a funeral - but it was just amazing - I also know that it was a very healing experience for so many of us... griefs which go back lifetimes, my father's death being a trigger - an opportunity for us to recognise our own grief - and to accept - to be grateful for so much - to feel the joy of being alive.....
Don't think I'm expressing this very well - because my overwhelming feeling is - and has been throughout this special time of my Father's death... an overwhelming feeling of deep joy......
We live in a world where the words 'joy and death' don't usually go hand and hand - however - my Dad's age and life has made this possible.... maybe that's why it has been such a healing experience for so many of us... because he was so old - and had had such a great life - we were enabled not to be wrapped up in 'sadness' about a loved one physically leaving us - and as a consequence we could really focus on our own 'grief' - which is such a personal thing - the legacy of lifetimes of hurts.......
Wow to recognise the 'griefs' within ourselves - now that is truly healing - to recognise, to accept them and then to let them go............ letting go - nothing to do with saying good-bye to my Dad for one last time - but all to do with letting go those stored angers/pains/wounds which we keep from our childhood and before...... griefs which we inherit - handed down through generations.....
Special days indeed..........
It's now Tuesday evening and I will go back to work tomorrow - Alex going back to France, Robbie being around - here and London for a few more days - me - going to Brussels for a conference - Thursday/Friday - visiting Congeleton Memorial hospital - hopefully for the last time on Saturday - Mum set to move to Abbeyfield next week - lots of people for dinner on Sunday...
......so living my life - being so very grateful for being alive - recognising the joy of life, and the joy that my Father's death has given me and especially the beautiful healing that I have been privileged to witness........... but also recognising that people I love are in pain - feeling that grief and giving them love.........
And it was perfect..... and we did it so well as a family - my 91 year old mother coming from hospital, using a wheelchair and a zimmer frame but coping so well... dignified, strong and really, really focusing on every word in the two services ... and she was just so beautiful.... trying so hard to do it right - and doing it so, so well.... Mum I was just so proud of you - and everyone felt the same - truly inspirational.......
All my sisters speaking at the Chapel - not finding it easy - but standing up and saying just the right things - things which needed to be said.... and Evey and Becki - I was honoured to stand up with them - and so proud - of all us - my Mum, sisters, grandchildren, cousins, family friends - we just did it so well!!
OK - may be it's a bit weird to be quite so euphoric over a funeral - but it was just amazing - I also know that it was a very healing experience for so many of us... griefs which go back lifetimes, my father's death being a trigger - an opportunity for us to recognise our own grief - and to accept - to be grateful for so much - to feel the joy of being alive.....
Don't think I'm expressing this very well - because my overwhelming feeling is - and has been throughout this special time of my Father's death... an overwhelming feeling of deep joy......
We live in a world where the words 'joy and death' don't usually go hand and hand - however - my Dad's age and life has made this possible.... maybe that's why it has been such a healing experience for so many of us... because he was so old - and had had such a great life - we were enabled not to be wrapped up in 'sadness' about a loved one physically leaving us - and as a consequence we could really focus on our own 'grief' - which is such a personal thing - the legacy of lifetimes of hurts.......
Wow to recognise the 'griefs' within ourselves - now that is truly healing - to recognise, to accept them and then to let them go............ letting go - nothing to do with saying good-bye to my Dad for one last time - but all to do with letting go those stored angers/pains/wounds which we keep from our childhood and before...... griefs which we inherit - handed down through generations.....
Special days indeed..........
It's now Tuesday evening and I will go back to work tomorrow - Alex going back to France, Robbie being around - here and London for a few more days - me - going to Brussels for a conference - Thursday/Friday - visiting Congeleton Memorial hospital - hopefully for the last time on Saturday - Mum set to move to Abbeyfield next week - lots of people for dinner on Sunday...
......so living my life - being so very grateful for being alive - recognising the joy of life, and the joy that my Father's death has given me and especially the beautiful healing that I have been privileged to witness........... but also recognising that people I love are in pain - feeling that grief and giving them love.........
