... but not quite certain what?
It's Thursday evening - I have just been out for dinner with my three beautiful sons and Lara - Rob arrived last Saturday and Jimmy, Alex and Lara today - tomorrow we all meet up with my Mum, sisters and family in the Lake District - 18 of us - 4 generations - supposedly celebrating my birthday - but basically just being family.... how blessed is that... to be us - I feel so humbled by this thought - how precious is this.......
We are going to Brockwood Hall, staying in two lodges, a place so close to Broughton and Eccleriggs where my Mum and Dad had their caravan for 18 years - so much part of my life - and my children's lives - a place where they ran wild, made dens in the woods, climbed mountains, learnt to swim, played card and just enjoyed themselves - a wonderful part of their childhood - my children have been so lucky too........
To be with them tonight was just 'precious' I can't think of any other word for it........
I am in my flat, Lara has gone to bed and the boys have gone down town - off to meet Jimmy's friends Jack and Sammy before they go off around the world for 6 months - wonderful young people - growing up and spreading their wings... people are amazing - we are amazing!!!
I was listening to my boys talk about their Nan tonight - they recognised her happiness, her love for life ... her wonderfulness - that's pretty cool - when I told Lara that she and Alex were in in the other house with Nan, she was so pleased - genuinely delighted to be staying close to Nan..... bufffff - that's getting me emotional - I can see this weekend will be just full of emotion.. but in a good way - just a joyous appreciation of the wonderful people in my life - bufffffffffffffffffff - feeling it again!!
OK - so I shall just do my utmost to enjoy every 'precious' (that word again) second of this weekend - to be thankful and appreciative - and to count my blessings without judgement, conditions or expectation of anything other than the recognition of how lucky I am to be me......
To be alive is extraordinary - though sometimes it can feel pretty bonkers, crazy and scary - but hey we're here - we're alive - so let's enjoy every precious second of the journey!!!
