It's Friday evening - after what seems like some of the most concentrated days that I have had for a long time - (which is saying something!) - absolutely no complaints - all wonderful and rich - but also so amazingly full on - in so many ways!
Tonight I went to see my Mum after she had been in hospital for a night - she fell yesterday and banged her head - Fiona and Ann sorted everything - but I was there this evening - took with me the mobile phone that Jimmy and I had bought her yesterday - by her forgotten request - a bit ambitious - but see how we go!
My Mum is amazing - she was finding it so hard tonight - she hates losing her memory of recent events - and the fall has knocked her confidence - she was feeling 'stupid' - and tired after a night in hospital etc - but she was also very funny and loving - doing her best to pick herself up - and loving the concept of the mobile phone - foreseeing all sorts of potential uses when she's on holiday etc. I just agreed as she was not really going to the day to day - like me trying to contact her when she's not in her room - or her being able to phone without getting out of bed etc..
But I think we were both holding our breath - as the things she really wants to do - in her very precious life of the moment - are just so dependent on her living semi-independently in Abbeyfield and her ability to stay strong and active etc - She knows she can't fall again etc - with all that would lead from that......... So she really is living every second of her life today (consciously) - with a huge understanding that the life she wants to live tomorrow - is totally dependent on her ability to hack it through today!
Wow ----- when I wrote Living in the present - but how do I do that? as the title of this blogg - I was actually thinking about conversations I had had today and recently- about living in the present - but hey I don't need to think any more - I just need to really try and understand where my Mum is with every second of her life - wow........
OK feel crammed full of emotion, and very tired - but beautifully happy - doing my best to live in the present and to really understand/feel/live what this means - it' might be Friday night - but I'm for an early night - to sleep in the present - tomorrow is another day to be - what ever that means!!!!
Tonight I went to see my Mum after she had been in hospital for a night - she fell yesterday and banged her head - Fiona and Ann sorted everything - but I was there this evening - took with me the mobile phone that Jimmy and I had bought her yesterday - by her forgotten request - a bit ambitious - but see how we go!
My Mum is amazing - she was finding it so hard tonight - she hates losing her memory of recent events - and the fall has knocked her confidence - she was feeling 'stupid' - and tired after a night in hospital etc - but she was also very funny and loving - doing her best to pick herself up - and loving the concept of the mobile phone - foreseeing all sorts of potential uses when she's on holiday etc. I just agreed as she was not really going to the day to day - like me trying to contact her when she's not in her room - or her being able to phone without getting out of bed etc..
But I think we were both holding our breath - as the things she really wants to do - in her very precious life of the moment - are just so dependent on her living semi-independently in Abbeyfield and her ability to stay strong and active etc - She knows she can't fall again etc - with all that would lead from that......... So she really is living every second of her life today (consciously) - with a huge understanding that the life she wants to live tomorrow - is totally dependent on her ability to hack it through today!
Wow ----- when I wrote Living in the present - but how do I do that? as the title of this blogg - I was actually thinking about conversations I had had today and recently- about living in the present - but hey I don't need to think any more - I just need to really try and understand where my Mum is with every second of her life - wow........
OK feel crammed full of emotion, and very tired - but beautifully happy - doing my best to live in the present and to really understand/feel/live what this means - it' might be Friday night - but I'm for an early night - to sleep in the present - tomorrow is another day to be - what ever that means!!!!
