............on so many levels but particularly in my spiritual journey. It has been a roller coaster of a week and I have had huge highs and lows. It feels like I am veering between poles, oscillating between extremes of .... emotion... not quite emotion - I wrote in an email to a friend last week - 'I veer between a beautiful certainty and a huge void of not knowing anything' and I have been thinking about this, at the back of my mind all week, and I suppose it is exactly where I am.
The 'huge certainty' is growing, it is becoming clearer and much more defined, it is becoming real. The huge void of 'not knowing anything' is the trough between the waves, and as the waves build up increasing in momentum....... the crests are becoming higher, wilder, fiercer and even more bedecked with white horses, whilst the troughs continue in between...... plateaus of stillness, of taking breath.... they are also actually really beautiful ... and maybe need to be just that - points of stillness before the next wave, rather than voids of not knowing.
... and so I think this is where I am - after a very reflective peaceful day, I have meditated a lot today and given myself the time to be and to read etc as a consequence I sit here now in a state of huge and wonderfully beautiful certainty! Maybe I should just spend my life meditating - it just fills me with joy..... but I live in the real world... and I suppose I'm back to waves again.... only this time the trough is the 'beautiful certainty' and the real world the 'white horse bedecked wave' - wow - could be right!!!
